Do Shots, Don’t Get Shot – PFMH3 #154. Friday 1/27, 7:30pm
Welcome, welcome welcome to the ?th Anal "Do Shots, Don’t Get Shot"
We know that you’ve been training your liver all year long, and now is the time that you get to showcase its prowess. Hope it doesn’t disappoint you. Since it’s winter, and we thought you might be lazy about running and drinking shots (this ain’t no beer mile, plus that turnout was pisspoor, you slackers) – this is a crawl. Crawling is what we expect you to be doing by the end of the night anyway, so it may be a smart idea to stash some cab fare, bus tokens, condoms, breath mints, pickup lines for whatever way you’re getting home (or to someone’s home) after this all goes down.
Hold the Sausage has been working hard with her address book of Fairmount hashers to make some amazing or at the very least, alcoholic shots for you to drink. So come on out, leave your running clothes at home, and taste the rainbow. Or whatever they have mixed up for you this night.
We’ll be starting at the Urban Saloon on Fairmount Ave. Around 8pm Standard Hash Time, we will depart for our first stop. Try to be there… From there, we will try to remember to leave a trail of marks and flour for any late comers, but as we’ll be drinking many shots, we can’t promise to remember. If you miss us, or get hopelessly lost – obviously try phoning someone. If that doesn’t work – go to our On-After location at the green room and wait for us there. Here are all the details below in a handy paragraph:
Do Shots, Don’t Get Shot 2012
Friday, January 27th. 7:30pm, Pack off at 8pm
Hares: Hold the Sausage & Fairmount hash crew
Start Location: The Urban Saloon, 2120 Fairmount Avenue
On-After: The Green Room, 1940 Green Street
Hash Cash: $10
Plus, bring any cab fare/bus tokens/etc.
View Do Shots, Don’t Get Shot 2012 in a larger map
Save the “Date for Do Shots, Don’t Get Shot” – JANUARY 27th
The holidays are over and winter gets bleak. You don’t have to get through the cold weather alone. Get your livers ready and flexed for the notorious anal shot crawl that is known as "Do Shots Don’t Get Shot" … it may keep you warm while walking from stop to stop.
NOTE: This is not a r*n. This is a shot crawl in Fairmount. If you wear running clothes, you may be mocked.
The hare, Hold the Sausage, is mapping out all the details and we’ll have a start location, end location (for circle) and on-after listed soon. Hash cash will probably be around $10ish.
SAVE THE DATE FOR FRIDAY, JANUARY 27th. Standard Hash Time. Also it might be smart to have some emergency phone numbers and cab fare pinned inside your coat for getting home, so start working on that now.
Full details will be posted soon.
PFMH3 153: Jingle Our Balls Hash, 12/2 @Green Room
When: Friday, December 2nd
Time: 7:30, pack off by 8pm
Where: The Green Room
Hare: Tube Cock
Hash Cash: $7
Theme: Holiday/Philly AGM Blockbuster Weekend
Specials: Pitchers of Lager and Miller Light, $7.50
The shortest days of the year are upon us, and to combat the onset of Seasonal Affective Disorder, we suggest you put on some festive clothing, such as a hideous Cosby sweater or a slutty elf costume, or maybe the suggestion in the photo, and come on out to the Philly Full Moon Hash and drink til the sun comes up.
There’s a lot to be depressed about in winter: spending all your money on gifts your friends and family surely won’t appreciate, getting fat because the holiday food is so rich, the fact that winter clothing makes all of us look even fatter…, seeing much less skin on your running routes around the city (or wait, maybe this is a good thing considering the latter?), the cold ice rain that we know is coming. PLUS, having snow days as an adult sucks a lot more than as a child because you have to shovel and sometimes go to work anyway…
So wash away your winter BLAHS and come out to the Philly Full Moon on December 2nd.
Jingle Balls optional!
Trash: PFMH3 152 Turkey Trail
The plan was simple, meet CYHMN around 6pm at Woolly Mammoth’s to lay the first official running trail of the Year of Tits & Beaver/Beaver & Tits… September’s hash was a pub crawl, and the October was the 1st anal PFMH3/Bryn Mawr Running Club Beer Mile. TOS only had to travel about 10 miles by car and 1 mile by foot to park at the beer check, but traffic on Friday 11/18 was like people waiting outside a store for Black Friday sales at 4am -packed and vicious. Finally after a delightful 90 minute 10 mile commute (I could have almost run it!) TOS arrived at the beer check and proceeded to lay trail from there to Woolly’s, to save time.
After meeting CYHMN at the bar, we set off to lay trail – a shot check at Cianfrani Park, a beer check at Jefferson Square and lots of checks in case Cause showed up. When we got back, we had several anxious hashers waiting upstairs: Cause for Blindness, Flounder, Shaves My Pussy (SMP), Mary Fucking Poppins (MFP)… we headed out for Chalk Talk around 7:50 … and then as we pointed the pack in the direction of the r*n, 2 Clump Chump came running up so we pointed him to the pack which was just a half a block ahead – he quickly passed them as FRB.
CYHMN and TOS then shortcutted over to the park to wait for the pack with a shot check – spiked cider with Pumpkin Whipahol topping. Just a few short minutes after we arrived, 2 Clump and MFP came bouncing through the park and we poured them some shots. As the rest of the pack caught up, CYHMN took off to go to the beer check and TOS stayed behind as a "sweeper" to follow the pack and make sure no one got too lost in the angled streets and alleys of South Philly.
We ran down 8th to Catherine, and east on Catherine to 7th… Down 7th to a check at a 6-point star at Passyunk… the pack was fooled a few times with Falses and Back Checks, but luckily a true trail arrow up Carpenter led the way to 6th, and then south on 6th, through a supermarket parking lot to the brown-bag beer check at Jefferson Square. At the beer check, we said hello to the neighborhood watch, talked about SMP’s abandonment issues and how happy he was to see us there at the shot check with alcohol, and saw we missed S&M Man by a few minutes at Woolly’s. The trail continued back to Woolly’s east on Washington to Moyamensing, and stair-stepped north and west a block or two until it led to an ON-IN mark past the Zagar murals on Leigthgow St.
Circle added a few hashers who missed the trail, many of whom drank from the sacred vessels: Urine Luck, S&M Man, Tube Cock, Bonsai Bush, He’s a Lesbian, and Just Brad who showed up very late with a popped collar after a Yacht Club dinner.
Make sure you don’t miss next month’s exciting trail, the Jingle Our Balls Hash/Philly AGM Pre-lube at the Green Room, 12/2. Details right here!
PFMH3 152: Thanksgiving Turkey Trail! Friday 11/18
We at the PFMH3 were faced with a very serious decision last week… so due to the wedding of The S&M Man and Cleavage to Beaver, and after some lengthy calls to the moon herself making secret negotiations to change her busy schedule, we have decided to MOVE the full moon to Friday 11/18. Sorry if your Farmer’s Almanac is off this month – this is the right date, mark your calendars!
This month’s run will be a Turkey Trail!
Come dressed as a turkey, tofurkey, Hester Prynne, cranberry sauce or any other of your favorite sides, a Pilgrim, a cornucopia, wearing pumpkin colored clothes …or if you choose to tempt the winds of fate and political correctness, a Native American … Or come as you normally dress and we’ll just mock you either way – theme costume or not.
Details
This is an A to A trail, starting and ending at Woolly Mammoth’s. They have a band playing upstairs around 10pm so we’d like to keep the trail short and sweet this evening and get back to the bar around 8:45-9pm.
Meet: 7:30 @ Woolly Mammoth’s, 430 South Street, Philadelphia, PA
Pack Off: around 7:45pm or so
Circle: between 8:45-9:30 so the band can set up and soundcheck. We can stay as long as we want or go somewhere else after
Hash Cash: $7
Specials: $2.75 Miller Light and Yuengling Lager
Beer Mile Results (PFMH3 151)
We had a beer mile and you missed it!!! What were you thinking? Unless your name was: Bumble Beaver, Hold the Sausage, One Inch In, Up Her Ali, Short Distance Rimmer, 2 Clump Chump, Broken Rod, Jug Stain, Tits of Steel, and a whole bunch of virgins whose names we don’t remember anymore. Hardly any of them were coherent enough to make it to circle anyway after the beer mile, so next time they have to drink.
It was a fine Fall evening, when we arrived at the Manayunk Towpath to set trail for the 1st ever PFM/Bryn Mawr Running Club Beer Mile. The Beer Mile may sound easy, but it’s broken quite a few stalwart drinkers and runners. We witnessed that this evening. Several contestants emptied their stomachs and a few just gave up before finishing.
The course was laid out along the towpath going southeast towards the Manayunk Brew Pub. There were a handful of large puddles to add a little "shiggy" to the mix for the hashers who did not feel adequately challenged or interested. The ladies heat went first – each contestant downed a beer in the staging area, then took off to run out 1/8 mile and back 1/8mile (1/4 mile total). Repeat 3x for a mile. Puking = 1 penalty lap (no matter how many times you puked). Official timers were on the course to check to make sure runners weren’t shortcutting or puking into a shadow. After about 10 minutes, the men’s heat took off (the ladies were still wrapping up their beers and laps.) Finally, after many beers, many laps, and luckily, no surprise visits from the cops, everyone finished or gave up.
Who finished? Who won? Who puked?
We are not naming names, but someone lost the official times which were officially written down on an official Beer Mile Scorecard crafted from the finest recycled cardboard box and written upon with a sharpie. However, the winners and approximate times were:
One Inch In – Male 5-7% alcohol category, approximately 10:37
Short Distance Rimmer – Male 7-9% alcohol category, approx. 11:48
Hold the Sausage – Female 7-9.9% alcohol category, approx. 11:37
Bumble Beaver – Female 10% and above alcohol category, approx. 24:15
Pukers:
The virgin with the green hat spent about 10 minutes wallowing and a rough 5 minutes puking into the towpath canal until he shot up like a bolt and finished his 3 remaining laps (2 laps plus a penalty puke lap) and his 10% beer.
After the beer mile, we walked across the street to JD McGillicuddy’s for Circle and dancing. Accusations were made:
The hare, One Inch In for being late… Tits of Steel, Broken Rod, 2 Clump for autohashing, and more that were blotted out of memory after several Golden Monkeys. A dance party spontaneously erupted and one by one hashers made it home to someone’s bed.
Does this sound like fun? Want to be a hare? Contact us here (Yahoogroups) or here (Facebook).
PFM 151: BEER MILE
1st Annual Manayunk Running Club and Philly Full Moon H3 Beer Mile
When: Friday October 14, 2011
Where: The Manayunk Tow-Path (meet on the bridge where Cotton St. intersects the path)
Mandatory Registration at 7:30 PM
Beer Mile begins at 8:00 PM SHARP!
View PFM 151: Beer Mile in a larger map
The event is free, but BYO Beer Mile beer and hash cash (TBA, probably $6-8) for Full Moon circle beer
Circle: Full Moon circle will follow the competition at JD McGillicuddy’s
111 Cotton St Philadelphia, PA 19127
http://www.yelp.com/biz/jd-mcgillicuddys-philadelphia
Why: Test your ability to chug, run, and avoid gastrointestinal pyrotechnics.
Awards will be given to the top 3 males and females.
How: Review the official Beer Mile rules at http://www.beermile.com/.
Obviously, these rules will be modified slightly to accommodate the tow-path.
The Beer Mile is BYO beer!!!
The organizers won’t have extra if you forget. Select a beer that has at least 5% ABV and bring 4 bottles/cans with you to the event (more if you think you need to, um, practice).
NOTE: We’ll be scoping out some places to buy takeout beer nearby and post an update shortly, in case any of you half-minds forget.
Show up at 7:30 PM to "register" and have your beverage choice approved; we’ll assign you a heat. Warm up or just stand around and look stupid until it’s your turn to chug and run. And try not to vomit, please.
How to get there:
Main & Cotton Street is just a few short blocks from the Manayunk Train Station where you can take the Septa Norristown Line. Schedule here.
You can also drive, ride a bike along Kelly or MLK Drive to Main Street, take the #61 bus to Main & Cotton, or take the #9 or #27 bus to Wissahickon Transfer Center and enjoy a stroll down Main Street to Cotton.
PFM 150: Holy Fuck, It’s A Bar Sampling!
WHEN: Friday, Sept. 9th, 7pm-???
HASH CASH: $6 -updated- for Circle (At Good Dog)
All other beverages are buy as you go.
WHERE: It’s a Bar Sampling – so join in early and pass out by 10pm, or show up later. Or you could try to be the Energizer Drinker Bunny and go all night long, like the night train.
Tentative Schedule – More info on specials coming soon!
7-8ish PM: Black Sheep ($3 Domestic Bottles plus a discount on Hoegaarden + Stella, details coming)
8-9ish PM: McGillan’s ($6.50 pitchers of PBR and Bud Light)
9-10:30ish PM: Good Dog (circle will be here + good food and pool and other bar games upstairs)
10:30ish – ???: Raven for Pole Dancing and Shenanigans ($2 Yuengling Lager and Miller Light drafts)
After The Bar: The Afterparty, And After the party is the Hotel Lobby… Or maybe Pizza, Pancakes, or other liquor-absorbing foods.
HARE: 2 Clump, Bumble Beaver, Holy Fuck (her idea) + Tits of Steel… but there is no flour or chalk
WHY: Our beloved hasher Holy Fuck is in town this weekend for a short visit and wants to hit as many bars as possible. We figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em so we just stapled ourselves on to this crew.
SPECIAL NOTES: This is a bar sampling (aka crawl) and not a regular hash run. You WILL be mocked if you show up wearing running clothes.
MAP:
View Holy F Bar Sampling in a larger map
Welcome Welcome Welcome to the Year of Beaver + Tits
Or Bumble Tits, or Beaver of Steel, or something like that.
The next Full Moon Hash will be on September 9th as part of Holy F#ck’s Beer Sampling Tour.
More details to be posted soon – including hash cash, start location and approximate crawl times.
This will not be a running hash – wear your street clothes!
Bumble Beaver and Tits of Steel are looking for hares for the Full Moon season! Let us know if you can hare a full moon hash near one of these dates!
Here are some dates:
October 12
November 10
December 10
Jan 9
Feb 7
Mar 8
April 6
May 6
June 4
July 3
August 2
What you missed at the AGM:
2 Clump Chump and Tube Cock set a shitty trail and only four of you half-minds showed up to the Druids Keep to r*n it… 3 Balls, Just Matt, Can You Hear Me Now? and Tits of Steel. Another old hasher who stopped running because of "piles" was there, keeping the barstool warm while we attempted to locate trail. We set out on trail and CYHMN immediately went the wrong way, ignored the yells of the hares, and No-No’ed it all the way to the Beer Check.
This left the trio of Justt Matt (thought it looked better with double T’s in both words), 3 Balls, and Tits to find trail. Our memories are bad due to all the beer we drank that night and no one kept notes. Somewhere past 2nd and Fairmount there was a back check and somehow TOS managed to make 3Balls feel bad for her enough to slow down so off they went to the south. Just Matt got lost despite the loud yelling of "On On!" every few blocks and wasn’t seen again until the beer check. TOS and 3Balls continued around Northern Liberties and Old City, pretty much circle jerking around blocks that seemed to be set up to make the trail as long as possible while still making the harriers feel like morons for not cutting and finding shortcuts. Straight through the Edgar Allen Homes we went, and some sketchtastic scenery as well as a few offers to buy many different types of drugs and hookers were offers. Luckily Mayor Nutter declared a curfew so we were not victims of a flash mob. We declined hoping for a Beer Near, and then found it in an empty abandoned lot right by the train tracks around 8th and Girard. After drinking of the sweet, delicious nectar, I mean PBR and Lord Chesterfield, CYHMN came from the northeastly direction, he had No-No’d the whole half of the trail to the beer check! We stood around and hoped not to get picked up by any cops for soliciting and were almost done our beers when a mugger or Just Matt’s shadow was seen coming down 8th street. Lucky for us it was Just Matt, also none of us had anything to give up other than a half drank beer and smelly running clothing.
After the beer check, we took off in the direction that CYHMN had come from, but he chose to return with us and double back on his path rather than nono the whole way. As a large group of 4, we were significantly safer in the hood. We ran through some streets and then some more, and some other more ones and got lost at a 5 pt star around 4th and George. Up and around past some warehouses we went and then we proceeded to get lost again at the Piazza. Finally a trail was found and not long after, a shot check in a playground, just the way 2 Clump likes to meet his girlfriends. We drank again of the sweet alcohol and set back off on trail. Somewhere before the shot check we lost CYHMN on the trail he had already run! Then it was up and around through where the homeless guys live under I-95 and some creepy abandoned warehouses that the casino has not gentrified yet. Just Matt and 3 Balls picked up the pace on an extremely dark, cobblestone street where all kinds of shit must go down on a regular basis, so I had to push it real hard sprinting to make it back to the bar without getting sold into the black market and shipped off to another country. Finally back at Druid’s Keep, a lot more people had showed up and smartly autohashed including Sausage, Rimmer, Bonsai Bush, Elmo, Broken Rod, Just Sadie, Just Clifford, and more… Many accusations were made, we drank a lot of beers out of the special drinking vessels of the Philly Full Moon.
PFM: 149 The AGM
When: Friday August 12th 7:30 PM
Hash Cash: $10
Where: Druid’s Keep
149 Brown Street Philadelphia PA 19123
Hare: Tube Cock and Two Clump
Why: It’s the AGM that means you get to see which Half-minds we got to replace us, plus there will be food and lots of beer!
On On,
Two Clump and Tube Cock
Note: PFM 148 was in Greece/ Iowa, you must have missed it.