Fullmoon #93 - Elusive Elements (Trail & Beer Check)
A small pack gathered at the Shamrock Pub on this wet, and unseasonably warm Mummer’s Eve meeting of the Philly Full Moon Hash. Scooby Snatch, Two-Clump Chump, Jubal, Horny Hands, Just Lynn, Just Kyle, Meat Tenderized, Festering Beanie Baby, and Lil’ Red Riding Wood loitered around the bar until it became obvious that no other hashers were going to show up for the actual trail.
The bar was already set pretty low for our hares. Plastic Pud, who had set trail rather unsuccessfully the night before with the BFM, was not expected to improve his trail laying skills in a mere 24 hour period, not even with the aid of his lovely co-hare, Tastes Like Chicken.
Following a needlessly complicated chalk talk involving the differences between trail marked with just blue chalk, and trail marked with yellow and blue chalk, the pack headed north. After running practically in a straight line for a few miles, we came upon a series of war memorial plazas and lost trail. Several hashers mistook the same paper plate as a mark of trail, and meandered around for awhile, until Festering Beanie Baby stumbled upon a False, which ironically lead the pack back to the true trail. Some of the more clever hashers never got too far ahead of the hares, and were able to make their way to a much appreciated Beer Check at Drinkers Tavern. A few FRBs lost their way at the Irish memorial (one block away from a big BN mark), and ran south again, leaving about half of an already small pack to share four pitchers of lager.
After leaving Drinkers, most of the hashers walked back toward South Philly, though a few, Horny Hands, Scooby Snatch, and Lil’ Red Riding Wood, made a half-hearted attempt to make it look as though they were thinking about running.
Back at the Shamrock, the trail runners were greeted by Can You Hear Me Now?, who had come late to trail and understandably could not follow it, and a slew of auto hashers. It was then that the real drinking began…
Circle:
Visitors: Festering Beanie Baby (BFM) sang “Whip it out at the Ball Game”
Mrs. Robinson (BFM)- drank and eventually showed her bra
Just Kyle: showed off his ass
Rear-end Wrangler (
Great Sex (
1st in: Just Kyle
Last in: Meat Tenderized
Hares: Tastes Like Chicken, Plastic Pud for their shitty trail- not enough lubrication, too much Pud
Violation: Tastes Like Chicken for wearing headgear; Plastic Pud (for when one hare drinks…)
Auto Hashers: Skin Fiddle, E=MyCock², Strap-On, Holy F*ck, Europeein’ On Me, Fruit of the Clue, Mrs. Robinson, Jingle Balls, Snip-N-Tuck, Target
Cums Lately: Snip-N-Tuck, Horny Hands
Violation: Scooby for forgetting official penis glasses
Accusations:
Great Sex for beer avoidance
Just Kyle for work apparel: “Member of the mile high club” t-shirt
Announcements:
Cousin It will be having a Phillies tailgate some time in August
There will be a 2 Street 5k Run in the last week of September 2007 ($20 to run, ask the proprietors of the Shamrock Pub for more details)
Accusation: Pud for announcing athletic stuff in the circle, and for announcing an athletic event ten months before it’s supposed to take place; Chicken (for when one hare drinks…)
Violation: Chicken for wearing headgear in the circle (again) + Pud (for when one hare drinks…)
Circle closed, but not before Scooby and Chicken had a beer fight, which mercifully did not prompt the bartenders to ask us to leave.
Post Circle Event:
After the circle, there was much drinking and dancing, and I’d like to make special note of the dance-off between a hasher and one of the Shamrock’s bartenders, who had come to the pub on her night off. She, donning a pink eagles shirt danced rather close (if somewhat wobbly) with our very own Scooby-Snatch, while her boyfriend in the green eagles shirt cheered, and his friend in the white eagles shirt glared distrustfully at Scooby.
Guy in green eagles shirt, “Get in there, woman. Beat him.”
Heard at Hash:
Meat Tenderized: That is scrotally depressing.
Festering Beanie Baby: You handled that cock well.
FBB: We have other things we can use.
Scooby: No, I’ll stick with the cocks.
On, On,
lrrw